Right, here goes: 3 good things that happened in 2016 and 5 good things I want to happen in 2017.
1. I had a daughter
Bloody hard that. I mean, I didn’t have to push her out of an orifice, but I did have to not break into a million pieces when it looked like her Mum might die. And now they’re both doing fine. Annoying sometimes, but definitely not as annoying as I am. So that’s good.
2. I became a HoD
Head of English. I like English and I like being a head. Perfect job really.
3. I wrote for the TES
As an English Teacher who will always be a failed novelist, it was important for me to see my name in print. And now I have.
1. Do something about mental health
I don’t know what. Something. Donate some money to charity; help someone else through a tough time; finally write that blog in which I admit to all the shit I go through on a daily basis. Something. Probably, I need to sort myself out. The constant feeling like an impostor; the constant cowering from conflict. When I was a kid I used to fight. I don’t fight anymore and I feel weak.
2.Talk at a conference
This one makes me a little bit sick, because I’m perfectly aware that others might think I lack the credentials to do so. And I get that. When I see what other people are writing at the moment, and what they are achieving and doing, I feel remarkably inadequate. Which leads to my next point.
3. Do Something
I want to do something. Something that isn’t a pithy tweet or a sentimental blog post devoid of any academic merit. I want to engage with something and I want to trial something and I want to write about it.
4. Write more.
I don’t write blogs any more. Here’s why:
- I feel as though I can’t even get close to the quality of other people’s blogs. In terms of writing style, but also content. My (relatively) young age (31) and my (relatively) unacademic upbringing simply can’t be an excuse anymore. It needs to change.
- I don’t want to piss anybody off at my current school. My best writing comes from being pissed off. This is a problem.
- I’m tired.
I need to work something out.
5. Improve things.
Results. I want results to be better than they were last year.